|Posted by Kyle Morrison on April 26, 2011 at 1:50 AM||comments (1)|
How to get over divorce for men is not a question that can be answered in asingle line. Every man is different, and has different circumstances. Every man also comes to find their path in life in their own unique way. However, there are some core psychological similarities in all cas es of men and divorce that if known,can really help you find your way.
There are a few essential parts to being free and moving on fromdivorce for men.
This sounds like a lot to work though, and it does take time, but the keyword there is forgive. Achieving a sense of forgiveness of yourself, and your ex-wife is essential to get over divorce for men. This does not mean condoningany actions, this does not mean that the divorce was right, this does not meanyou are accepting blame or anything like that.
Forgiveness is not forgetting, or condoning - it just means you havedecided at the very core of your being that you are not letting it bother youanymore. That it is in the past and behind you no matter what your financial orsocial situation may be now. It is an acknowledgement that you have a new life and are not tied to the old one.
This is the ultimate goal of getting over a divorce. The longer youhold on to the memories and the hurt, the worse you will feel and your lifewill not progress. You must take the core of your being, your ego, your selfrespect and mould it into a new you, then leave the place you were in and boldlystride into a new world a new person.
Easier said than done right? Well, to help you get there please take alook at the link below. It links you to an e-book that is dedicated to helpingyou achieve these very things and has helped many men overcome depression,anxiety and anger at their divorce fast.
|Posted by Kyle Morrison on April 23, 2011 at 1:51 AM||comments (0)|
Post-Divorce depression for men is very difficult to deal with for manyguys. For most, we are simply not equipped to deal with these sorts ofemotional struggles. We do not have the psychological or emotional "tools" if you like to handle this problem.
Men are good problem solvers though. It is hard wired into our mindsto take a problem and solve it - but depression seems to be unsolvable leadingto many poor decisions.
Too many men equate depression with low self esteem and try to dothings to raise that self esteem. Alcohol, prostitutes, meaningless causal sex,fighting, drugs, even computer game addiction. Anything that gives us a sensewe are powerful for a short time is used - but it has no long term effectsleading to a "crash" of our self esteem once again.
To combat depression you need to not focus on your self esteem, butinstead you must bolster your self respect. These are two very differentthings. It can only come about if you have a good handle on WhO you are post-divorcethough. This is a something that can take a lot of soul searching to do.
The other way to help fight depression is the connect with people.Depression continues because of isolation from others. The more alone we arethe more depressed we become. While you do need some alone time to grieve, youneed to connect more with other people which gives you the opportunity to findout who this new "You" is anyway!
|Posted by Kyle Morrison on April 21, 2011 at 1:45 AM||comments (0)|
Whenever we experience a massive loss in our life we go through a process of grief. This is true for the death of a loved one, or even the loss of a sentimental object, and of course something as devastating as divorce. This process has a few stages that seem to be hard wired into the human mind. Each step plays an important role, even though it brings us a lot of pain and anguish.
These stages of post-divorce grief for men are:
|Posted by Kyle Morrison on April 16, 2011 at 1:44 AM||comments (1)|
Forgetting an ex-wife is not an easy thing for a man after his divorce. Itis hard to eliminate years and years of memories, love, affection, andpartnership in a short time. It is also difficult to get rid of the intensememories left by the divorce such as heated arguments, fights, and oftenmemories of infidelity and betrayal as well.
Also, the idea of forgetting is a slight misnomer. We do not forgetpeople really. We do not forget a lot of things in our lives. We do howeverstop the memories from bothering us and stopping our personal development.
This will always happen over time. Time does heal, but in the case ofyour ex-wife and your old married life this can take a LOTlonger than you anticipate or want. All these burdensome memories will stop youbeing able to move on after divorce and so they must be dealt with!
To do this you must take control of these memories, and lessen theirintensity, importance, and recurrence in your mind. There are a few neatvisualisation tricks that might help.